How to find a girlfriend online

Common mistakes made by love seekers on the net

And how you handle them

There are quite a few traps for the internet dater and knowing about them can greatly improve your experience and the number of actual dates you get. Doing the online business correct can get you a relationship in no time but if you don't do it properly internet might be a dead end.

There are a lot of mistakes that you can do just because you didn't think of them or didn't think things through properly. Here is a small list of the most common and how to handle them.

Hiding and being anonymous

It's easy to think that you shouldn't show to much of yourself on the net, maybe you havenät uploaded a picture to the dating network you use. Maybe you have written a concealing description of your self. Lots of people do this to try to keep a little privacy, being afraid of becoming some sort of an internet clown.

This is a serious problem if you actually want to find someone online. Consider how you handle someone that doesn't tell anything about herself or haven't uploaded a picture. The answer is that you don't bother with looking (this is a serious mistake but that is how it works). You need to give up your thoughts about hiding your identity. If you are going through with this internet dating business you need to realize that the privacy you might lose is relatively small and you have to do it if you ever want to be successful in this. It might be a bit tough in the beginning, you might be scared of being humiliated or even get a stalker but after a while you'll realize that every one publishes inforamation about themselves on the net. And, no one hardly bothers to look if they're not looking for someone to hook up with.

Megalomania

The second most common mistake made by internet daters is the megalomania. This is actually more common among girls then among guys but it is still a big problem. It works like this you surf around on the dating site finding hundreds or maybe thousands of good looking girls that you might be interested in. Maybe you get a few messages from interested girls. Maybe you are good looking (or lucky in some other way). After a while you start thinking that since you get all these messages and since there are so many beautiful women you can be really picky. You start thinking that all those who aren't supermodels and send you a message are spammers because they steal your time and you really should be out there dating the fantastic ones. After a few weeks you might even put a small notice on your profile saying that they shouldn't bother with sending a message if they don't have something extra.

It is true that you can be picky on the net, there are lots and lots of people looking for someone and you can't possibly date them all just to see. The problem is that you can't be picky the psycho way. Face it, just because beautiful women send you messages it doesn't mean all of them want to marry you. They send lots of messages (don't you do it yourself?). The thing is that internet dating sites seem better then they are, you can get the feeling that there are millions of girls just waiting for your wonderful presence. This is only half true. They are waiting for someone, not Necessarily you.

The truth about this is that you will miss the great ones because you stare at their pictures or don't bother reading the mails because they don't start them with a splendid joke. The right girl is there somewhere but it is npt certain that she will have a super pic or write fantastic messages because you are not really looking for a girl that can do great one liners, are you? Ok, humor is important but not the kind that can easily be conveyed in short internet messages.

The advice here is to stop being so picky, you need to go a few dates to even have a chance to start something with someone. Being over-picky wont help.

Going to fast

People online are almost always looking for a more or less serious relation. You find someone and start having a mail conversation maybe talk on the phone and after a while you meet. Both of you want a serious relation and you are both aware of this. It can easily happen that both of you rush thing. Even though it might feel that you know each other it is not the same thing when it is IRL. You need to move slowly to have a chance to get somewhere. No matter how friendly or cuddly you have been on the phone this is something else. You need to move slow or you will ruin the possibilities of a good and long relation.

Thinking people suck

This is a common mistake among those who think that they aren't really doing this internet dating thing, it was just some friend that got them online. Putting some sort of pride in not doing internet dating because you donät have to. You can get plenty of girls just by going to the pub and you definately don't need any help from a site. This resulting in you will start thinking that all the others (as if they needed help and hadn't bene put up to it by a friend) are losers. You might get a few dates but we can all guess the results.

The answer is simple. It's not about being cool, unless you are in fifth grade. The solution is, roll up the sleeves and grow up. It doesn't matter how you find the love of your life does it? If internet makes the quest easier is this a bad thing? You have to realize that you can do internet dating even if you are the coolest cat on your block because maybe you can find the one you are looking for instead of hanging at the local bar trying to score with the waitress (again.

Thats all for now

Hope you liked our little guide and pls come back for more articles.

From my original post in my blog:

Finding a girlfriend online might be one of the hardest things you can do. At least if you want more than just a date and my guess is that most of us does. We have done some serious research on this problem and are writing a handbook at the moment. We thought we should share a few of the highlights for you readers as a small teaser.

The biggest problem is usually that you don’t understand the problems with dating online. There are a few and you need to be aware of them to be able to do any successful online dating. ‘

What are the problems then?

The Visual Overload

Firs the most important problem, the Visual Overload. When you first sign upp on a dating site on the net you’ll notice that there are hundreds, maybe thousands of girls looking for a guy just like you. You walk through a few descriptions and the feeling that “I can choose anyone I want” starts to show up. This is a stupid feeling, it will fool you that the girls that actually reply to your mails or messages aren’t maybe the best you can find. More of how you handle this a bit further down.

Being to hidden

It can be tempting to stay a little anonymous since your buddies or your ex might find your profile on a dating site. This feels a bit queezy? Well, hiding behind a shadie picture or extremely brief descriptions will get you nowhere.

I get lots of messages so I am to hot for you loosers

This is a problem more common among girls but you can find it in a few men as well. Since you get a lot of messages, maybe you look good or for some other reason, you start feeling spammed. These chicks never come up with anything new, why would I bother to read all this spam. I need a girl that can catch my attention with something witty or fun. This is a big problem for those that have it. Since good pick up lines in catchy messages isn’t what you are really looking for in a girl you fool yourself. You’ll neglect to read the message from your dreamgirl becasue she didn’t write “Your father must have been a thief.. bla bla”.

How do I handle this?

Mostly common sense and a bit of thaught will cure these problems. For the visual overloaders, start thinking of how things really are. Is it really true that all those models and moviestars are actually looking for you? And is this really a reason to not stop for a while and consider what you are really lookng for? Decide a few important things and start looking systematicly for this. Maybe you’d like a girlfriend to go hiking with, well, stop looking for those with the best looking picture and start looking for a woman that actually might have what you are looking for.

For those who hide

Yes, it is a bother to show yourself on the net. But if you are going to do this you will have to do it right. Studies show that you get 4 times the messages if you add a picture to your profile. That is actullay 4 times the possibilities to find the right one. If you can’t get yourself to do it, you actually need to find another way to find the woman of your life.

And for the megalomaniacs

You need to realize that you do this for a reason, and the reason is not to be entertained by random women on the net. You are actually looking for someone that has something that is very hard to convey over the net. You need to take your time and start answering those messages, otherwise you are screwed (in the bad way) because on of those that you threw away is the one. Romance is not found in witty subjects on instant messages.

That was a few small samples from the guide to Finding a girlfriend online.

Hope you liked it and hopefully you will buy the book when it is finished, thank you for your time.